20 Insights Every Woman Wished Men Knew
A woman is a priceless gift in a man’s life. She is to be treated with the utmost respect and honor. You should love the woman in your life more than she loves you. Why? She will always love you in more ways than you can ever imagine. If you love her 100%, she will go beyond and give 150%. When you understand how she is wired, it will set you up for amazing success. The following suggestions are the result of observing women in both personal and professional settings and of listening to the wisdom of male and female colleagues for more than 20 years. Men, use these insights to help the women in your life – including your wife, significant other, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends – to release their brilliance.
These insights are just a brief window into how women function. I don’t claim to be an expert. I am just a student of life and women open up talk to me for some strange reason. I don’t solicit it nor is there an agenda. I’ve learned these insights from countless thousands of women who bent my ear talking about men.
These insights will work. Here they are my friend…
- Ask her about her vision for the future. If she doesn’t have one, encourage her to find one. Then, affirm her and her vision every day. Authentically tell her that you believe in her.
- Release the need to be right. Listen and learn; open your ears and open your mind. Discover just how brilliant she truly is. Women have perspectives, opinions, ideas and thoughts that are valid, worthwhile and can benefit you. Give the women in your life the opportunity to share their wisdom. You don’t always have to agree with it or accept it, but you should always be respectful.
- Let her talk (I know that’s very hard for you men). Pay attention, be present and genuinely listen. Women use more words than men. They work through their problems and brainstorm ideas out loud. Unless she specifically says so, your woman does not expect – or want – you to solve her problems for her! She’s simply looking for you to be a supportive sounding board. Don’t feel that you have to “fix” everything or offer “microwave solutions.”
- Give her respect. Take her and her challenges seriously. Men can be selfish and can become caught up in themselves. Don’t dismiss her problems – whatever they may be – as trivial or less important than yours.
- Encourage, support, and celebrate her in seeking personal, professional and educational development. She has a brain and wants to use it.
- Plan a surprise trip for the two of you. Take care of every detail and spoil her as much as you can.
- Help her discover the unique strengths, talents and special qualities that you and others see in her that she might not see in herself. Some women, especially those who temporarily leave the workforce to raise children, often lose sight of their brilliance and need help rediscovering it.
- Little things can really make a woman smile – a card, a post-it note, a phone call in the middle of the day, a “just because” gift, an offer to give the kids a bath and put them to bed. What are some of the little things you can do to create a magic moment for that special woman in your life?
- Accept her and value her for who she is instead of who you want her to be. Release the need to compare her to other women you know. Every day, remind her that she is beautiful and tell her what you appreciate about her.
- Show her that you care by talking to her. Ask her about her work, the kids, her volunteer work, etc. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. (Women want to be understood.) Look at her when she is talking to you so that she knows she has your undivided attention.
- Share the load as much as possible with respect to household responsibilities. This is the 21st century. Pitch in. Cook some meals or order carryout, drop off the kids, pick up the cleaning, run by the bank. I know that many of you men travel, have important jobs and work long hours. Guess what? She does too! Women who work outside the home are often expected to handle all of the household responsibilities, too. It’s difficult to release your brilliance when you’re running ragged, doing everything. And if her job is being a brilliant domestic engineer, I can assure you that she does more and travels more miles in a day than most men ever think about doing.
- Celebrate your woman’s success. Some men feel threatened if their women are the breadwinners or make more money than they do. If you’re one of these men, get over it! Women want men who believe in them and will be happy for them instead of tearing them down because the male ego can’t take it. (At the same time, don’t expect her to take care of you. Make sure you get off your blessed assurance and do something.)
- Encourage her to go out with her girlfriends once a week, go on an overnight or weekend trip once a month or take a girls-only vacation once or twice a year. That’s right – without you and without the kids. Then, make her time away a reality by willingly managing the household and/or caring for the kids. Women tend to lose themselves in their husbands and children and in the midst of everything they do for others. They give and give until they’ve given it all out. They need time to relax, regenerate, re-engergize and reconnect with who they are and why they’re here on planet Earth.
- Be her biggest cheerleader – the head of her fan club. Do everything you can to authentically build her up without patronizing her. Women struggle with self-worth and self-confidence issues far more than men do. Women have what it takes to be brilliantly successful, but they all too often sell themselves short and doubt their abilities. Women are also more cautious and less likely to take risks. Help her identify and work through the inhibitors that erode her confidence and the gremlins that block her brilliance.
- Support her and encourage her to heal her past emotional disappointments or traumas. Unlike men, who can often compartmentalize past hurts and move on, women’s emotional traumas often become skeletons that continue to haunt them and sabotage other areas of their lives.
- Allow her to brilliantly shine – to stand on her own two feet and hold her own court while you stand in the shadows and applaud her. Don’t get your jock strap in a wad because she’s getting all the glory. She shouldn’t be eternally lost in your brand, your career, your personality. She is her own person, not just your wife, significant other or sidekick.
- Acknowledge and celebrate her accomplishments, both big and small.
- Lift her up and encourage her when she encounters obstacles, setbacks and challenges. Offer to help her think through strategies, alternatives and options to get back on track.
- Find out what she likes and indulge her. This week, send her flowers, take her shopping or invest in a gift that comes in a little blue box with a “T” (guys, if you don’t know what this means, ask a female).
- Put a ribbon around her and tell her that she is the greatest gift God has ever given to you!